I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
