...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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