how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Randomize
