i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
