I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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