Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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