My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
