he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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