i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
