dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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