There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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