Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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