We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
