Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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