Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
