Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You need a sexual gate keeper
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
