i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
