Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
