I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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