hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
