So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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