Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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