Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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