Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
