At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
