# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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