did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
one two three fourrrrnication!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
