I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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