there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Semen is not good for contacts.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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