I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
