oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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