I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
