We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
