i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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