absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
