The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
