You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
