i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
