Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
