Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
