the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
