I'm gonna have a badass scar
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
