I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
