She said her name was "party"
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
