But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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