how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
