There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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