If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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