I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
