I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
