Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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