That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
